Looks like I should have married a "Gut Doctor"

Well, our wonderful "Gut Doctor" is going to score big time with the Martinsen clan, seeing as he gets to do all 7 of us before the end of the year! Heck, maybe we should just have the dog done too while we are at it. I am wondering what kind of treat would be approriate for a FHE that starts with a colonoscopy for everyone???

Well, for those of you who don't know the history here.....about 6 months ago, our then 7 year old Lora started having some abdominal pain that led to finding out she had several polyps in her large intestine, the largest of which was causing the pain and also causing her colon to fold or "telescope" into itself, which would be fatal if not fixed. Anyway, to make a long story short, she spent 10 days in the hospital and had to have surgery to have that part of her colon removed and also she had a colonoscopy which revealed several more polyps that were also removed.

Last Friday we had another appt. and because these Juvenile Polyps have a 30-70% rate of turning into the "C" word....she needed to have another colonoscopy, which was a few days later, just this past Tuesday. Lora is a trooper and put on a very brave face for the other kids...since they are also looking at having one within probably the next 6 weeks or so. (This is genetic, so they need to be checked also, as well as Lane and I....yeah!!)

The worst part for her is the prep, which in the hospital was a tube in the nose, feeding her this nasty liquid overnight....but this time we did the prep at home and it was actually harder for her. Anyone that knows Lora knows that she has the most abnormal phobia of puking that you have ever seen. She truly needs counseling over this issue....she is psychotic about it!!! So, once the liquid made her puke, that was it. She would have nothing more to do with it! That meant I had to resort to enemas for her. That was fun. Actually easier on her than drinking the poop juice though, so she was a good sport about it.

So very early Tuesday morning, we head to the hospital for the procedure. They take us back into what now Lora and I have dubbed as the "Fart Wing" of the hospital. She gets the one and only Winnie the Pooh (no pun intended) room since most of these people are WAAAAAAY past the third grade! So we get Lora changed into her little gown and she is laying there shivering in anticipation....when all of a sudden we start hearing what sounds like a whole brass section of the Phil-Harmonic orchestra blaring out from behind various curtains across the hall! Then a nurse shouts out "Way to go, whoever did that one....that was a SIX FOOTER!!.....that's what I want to hear people....give me some more SIX FOOTERS!!!" Lora's eyes got as big as Texas and she was like, "MOM are those toots???" (we try not to use the "F" word in our house) I was swallowing so hard, trying not to just burst out laughing! I don't really know why, but in our house, growing up, toots were just plain FUNNY and something we always laughed about! This went on for seriously about 30 minutes. I did not know that gas could be so melodious....and you know that little bird's eye called a fermata that we see over notes that means you are supposed to hold it out long? Well, let me tell you, these toots had some serious long fermatas over them!! We are talking world record breakers! It was like they were all having a contest behind their curtains! Anyway, at least this got Lora and I laughing and made her relax a little. The good part is that all this gas was coming from clean colons, so at least there was no smell involved!

Well, she had her procedure and they did remove 5 more polyps! Hopefully they all test normal and she can be good for another few years.

So, I will keep you updated on the rest of us. My kids would die if they knew I was blogging about this!! Hey, I am going to have to sneak a picture of the other 4 of them lined up on the big day don't ya think?? What posts on the blog stays on the blog right?

I'll have to let you know which one of them rips some SIX FOOTERS!! It will probably be my 4 year old, knowing her!

I do have to say though, that there is absolutely no pain involved in a colonoscopy. I think what keeps most people from getting them, is probably the embarrassement of it. If you are modest like I am, then that is probably the worst part. But hey, we need to remember that colon cancer is a silent killer and you don't know you have it until you have symptoms and then it is often too late. Please encourage your parents to get them and if you have any symptoms (bleeding being the most common) please get one. I think all of us would agree that a little embarrassement is worth something that can save your life!