So, that title is supposed to make you think that I am really smart. Actually that is just one of the many reasons that I haven't taken the time to update my blog recently. I volunteered to teach Junior Achievement for the 6th grade at Abe's school this year. The subject is Global Economics and I will teach twice a week for 3 weeks. So, in between all my many other daily mom duties, I am trying to educate myself on this subject. Mind you, it has been a LONG time since I have been in the studying mode. It isn't that hard actually they have it pretty much scripted out for you....but I guess I like to be the overachiever and actually make it INTERESTING and EXCITING. Anyway, I have been having alot of fun with it. Actually the best part is when I walk in the classroom, they all start clapping and I kind of feel like Oprah! (well not really, but close!)
So, a little update on the colonoscopy calendar at our house....Mariah is cleansing today, in preparation for hers tomorrow morning. So far, everything is coming out all right. (ha ha) Just lots of Gatorade and Charmin around here today. We are having a little issue with Alex though....who has decided to flat out boycott his participation at all! Part of our FHE last week was dedicated to this lovely subject and I thought it might be a good idea to tell them what to expect. Alex basically freaked out and reverted to his 2 year old method of "you can't make me" tantrum. The hard part is that when he was 2, I really COULD make him do things, but now that he is actually bigger than me, not to mention a whole lot stronger.....it is a whole different game! We were all laughing our heads off, and since the focus was on Alex throwing his little tantrum, the other kids didn't even register that they were going to have one too...so at least we didn't have to deal with all of them freaking out at the same time. whew! I decided to call the office the next day and get specifics on what would occur at the pre-procedure visit...hoping I could ease Alex's mind just a little. Turns out it was news he wouldn't like. Too bad Mariah heard me on the phone with the nurse and a couple days later spilled the beans to Alex that yes indeed a rectal exam would be part of the visit! Well, as he was going off about how there was NO WAY that he was going to let DR. MONTES go anywhere near him while he was awake... blah blah blah....I couldn't help myself by saying, "you mean his assistant, Miss EVA???" (they told me she would be doing it) okay, I will just let all of you picture what came next.....needless to say, Alex about turned himself inside out with horror!! I am still secretly laughing about it. So......how DO you get a 17 year old, fully conscious male with muscle to submissively accompany his mother and siblings to the GUT DOCTOR and lie down on the table???? Somehow I don't think a McDonald's happy meal reward is going to work this time.
So I ask you my fellow bloggers.........WHAT IN THE HECK SHOULD I DO??
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7 comments:
this is going to hilarious! i sure wish i could be a fly on the wall of the exam room. (ooh except that would mean i would have to see alex's bum hole and that wouldn't be a pretty picture!) anyway...i feel for you! i bet they are cursing your genetics right now!
global economics? what in the heck is that..educate me please!
umm, do you have a history of colon cancer? Because Colonoscopy's don't usually happen so young right? Not to be on Alex's side or anything but I went through that horrible procedure, but mine was a barrium enema type. I have got to tell you it was worse than childbirth and way more humiliating (which is hard to beat). Good Freaking Luck!
Tell him hey its the butt doc not the gut doc. What did you expect?! Ha ha, I guess he probably won't think that is very funny. Tell him to think how the person giving the exam must feel? I'm kidding. As a nurse I promise you (especially if you work in a gastro clinic) that you think there is nothing strange about checking out someone's rectum. It may be humiliating to the patient, but I guarantee the professional doing the exam is not thinking anything embarrassing about the patient. They probably just feel bad for what the patient is going through. Good Luck!!!! I for sure do not envy you!
so were you an econ major? how did you get that gig? 'the world is flat' is quite interesting in terms of global econ - it focuses on India and the American export of services over there.
good luck on the colonoscopies.
You see very positive, considering the circumstances... pray... that is the only thing I can think of... pray that he will get up and say, "Let's go mom, I want to get this over with.." Good luck and I will be thinking of you (I am one of Kristen's friends here in Utah!)
thanks for your comments and suggestions everyone! Mariah's colonoscopy went well and she has been cleared for the disease that Lora has, no polyps were found. I convinced the Dr. to wait and do Alex's exam when he is under anesthesia.
To answer Tausha's question, no we don't have a history of colon cancer but because Lora has Juvenile Polyposis and the cancer rate on these kind of polyps is 50-70%, all the kids need to be checked to see if they have it as well. It is genetic. If they were to have polyps and wait until the normal screening age of 50 to be checked, they most likely would be cancerous long before then.
As far as me teaching Global Economics....no I don't have a degree in that. I just volunteered to teach Junior Achievement and this is the subject for the 6th Grade. It is pretty basic, talking about import/export, international and domestic trading...today I taught about how immigration/emmigration affects the economy. Everything I need is in the manual. I have had fun filling in with my own things and learning alot as well. It's been fun to challenge my brain a little more than the normal. If they have JA in your schools, you should volunteer...it is alot of fun. It starts in the younger grades with basic economy relating to the family and moves up from there. Sounds a little intimidating, but it isn't. They make it so anyone can teach it. 6th grade is more advanced than 1st of course, but still pretty easy.
So, tomorrow (Friday) the other 3 kids have their in office visit and then we will get their colonoscopies scheduled. I will let you all know how they go. Wish me luck!
so good luck with alex. i am not there yet (teenage kids) and i wouldn't know how to convince them. the only thing i can think of would be the scare of cancer to him. maybe you could also request a male nurse for him? or just knock him over the head with a frying pand and drag him in. LOL J/K
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