Global Economics

So, that title is supposed to make you think that I am really smart. Actually that is just one of the many reasons that I haven't taken the time to update my blog recently. I volunteered to teach Junior Achievement for the 6th grade at Abe's school this year. The subject is Global Economics and I will teach twice a week for 3 weeks. So, in between all my many other daily mom duties, I am trying to educate myself on this subject. Mind you, it has been a LONG time since I have been in the studying mode. It isn't that hard actually they have it pretty much scripted out for you....but I guess I like to be the overachiever and actually make it INTERESTING and EXCITING. Anyway, I have been having alot of fun with it. Actually the best part is when I walk in the classroom, they all start clapping and I kind of feel like Oprah! (well not really, but close!)

So, a little update on the colonoscopy calendar at our house....Mariah is cleansing today, in preparation for hers tomorrow morning. So far, everything is coming out all right. (ha ha) Just lots of Gatorade and Charmin around here today. We are having a little issue with Alex though....who has decided to flat out boycott his participation at all! Part of our FHE last week was dedicated to this lovely subject and I thought it might be a good idea to tell them what to expect. Alex basically freaked out and reverted to his 2 year old method of "you can't make me" tantrum. The hard part is that when he was 2, I really COULD make him do things, but now that he is actually bigger than me, not to mention a whole lot stronger.....it is a whole different game! We were all laughing our heads off, and since the focus was on Alex throwing his little tantrum, the other kids didn't even register that they were going to have one too...so at least we didn't have to deal with all of them freaking out at the same time. whew! I decided to call the office the next day and get specifics on what would occur at the pre-procedure visit...hoping I could ease Alex's mind just a little. Turns out it was news he wouldn't like. Too bad Mariah heard me on the phone with the nurse and a couple days later spilled the beans to Alex that yes indeed a rectal exam would be part of the visit! Well, as he was going off about how there was NO WAY that he was going to let DR. MONTES go anywhere near him while he was awake... blah blah blah....I couldn't help myself by saying, "you mean his assistant, Miss EVA???" (they told me she would be doing it) okay, I will just let all of you picture what came next.....needless to say, Alex about turned himself inside out with horror!! I am still secretly laughing about it. So......how DO you get a 17 year old, fully conscious male with muscle to submissively accompany his mother and siblings to the GUT DOCTOR and lie down on the table???? Somehow I don't think a McDonald's happy meal reward is going to work this time.
So I ask you my fellow bloggers.........WHAT IN THE HECK SHOULD I DO??

Finally ...a new post

Actually, not really....this is just to let you know that as soon as I actually have TIME, I am going to update my blog!
(now wasn't that worth the 45 seconds that it took me to write?)

General Conference

I figured you were all getting tired of looking at that "butt" so I better write a new post! Well, I am sure we all agree that Gen. Conference is just the best weekend of the year! IT is so fun to lounge around and snuggle and eat and play games in between and just be together as a family. We always get new coloring books...even my big kids want them! Our conference food tradition is that I make chili and scones. We have been doing that ever since the kids were little and it has become a fun thing. Abe always gets to be my helper actually making the scones. We have a big breakfast too and then snacks set out all day, so pretty much we all need to fast tomorrow!
For today's sessions (Sunday) we had a non-member girl with us that is friends with Alex and Mariah. She is 16. Such a great girl, and she totally soaked up every word of conference. The spirit was very strong. It is amazing how much more you get out of it when you are listening through the ears of someone hearing it for the first time.
I feel so re-motivated to be better in every way. I am so thankful to be a member of this church and have the knowledge that we do.
I love my family so much....especially my sisters who I miss terribly! I hope you all had a great weekend as well.
Hey it was even a little tiny bit chilly this morning when we woke up! yeah!! I was jealous all day of the snow that Utah was getting though!

Looks like I should have married a "Gut Doctor"

Well, our wonderful "Gut Doctor" is going to score big time with the Martinsen clan, seeing as he gets to do all 7 of us before the end of the year! Heck, maybe we should just have the dog done too while we are at it. I am wondering what kind of treat would be approriate for a FHE that starts with a colonoscopy for everyone???

Well, for those of you who don't know the history here.....about 6 months ago, our then 7 year old Lora started having some abdominal pain that led to finding out she had several polyps in her large intestine, the largest of which was causing the pain and also causing her colon to fold or "telescope" into itself, which would be fatal if not fixed. Anyway, to make a long story short, she spent 10 days in the hospital and had to have surgery to have that part of her colon removed and also she had a colonoscopy which revealed several more polyps that were also removed.

Last Friday we had another appt. and because these Juvenile Polyps have a 30-70% rate of turning into the "C" word....she needed to have another colonoscopy, which was a few days later, just this past Tuesday. Lora is a trooper and put on a very brave face for the other kids...since they are also looking at having one within probably the next 6 weeks or so. (This is genetic, so they need to be checked also, as well as Lane and I....yeah!!)

The worst part for her is the prep, which in the hospital was a tube in the nose, feeding her this nasty liquid overnight....but this time we did the prep at home and it was actually harder for her. Anyone that knows Lora knows that she has the most abnormal phobia of puking that you have ever seen. She truly needs counseling over this issue....she is psychotic about it!!! So, once the liquid made her puke, that was it. She would have nothing more to do with it! That meant I had to resort to enemas for her. That was fun. Actually easier on her than drinking the poop juice though, so she was a good sport about it.

So very early Tuesday morning, we head to the hospital for the procedure. They take us back into what now Lora and I have dubbed as the "Fart Wing" of the hospital. She gets the one and only Winnie the Pooh (no pun intended) room since most of these people are WAAAAAAY past the third grade! So we get Lora changed into her little gown and she is laying there shivering in anticipation....when all of a sudden we start hearing what sounds like a whole brass section of the Phil-Harmonic orchestra blaring out from behind various curtains across the hall! Then a nurse shouts out "Way to go, whoever did that one....that was a SIX FOOTER!!.....that's what I want to hear people....give me some more SIX FOOTERS!!!" Lora's eyes got as big as Texas and she was like, "MOM are those toots???" (we try not to use the "F" word in our house) I was swallowing so hard, trying not to just burst out laughing! I don't really know why, but in our house, growing up, toots were just plain FUNNY and something we always laughed about! This went on for seriously about 30 minutes. I did not know that gas could be so melodious....and you know that little bird's eye called a fermata that we see over notes that means you are supposed to hold it out long? Well, let me tell you, these toots had some serious long fermatas over them!! We are talking world record breakers! It was like they were all having a contest behind their curtains! Anyway, at least this got Lora and I laughing and made her relax a little. The good part is that all this gas was coming from clean colons, so at least there was no smell involved!

Well, she had her procedure and they did remove 5 more polyps! Hopefully they all test normal and she can be good for another few years.

So, I will keep you updated on the rest of us. My kids would die if they knew I was blogging about this!! Hey, I am going to have to sneak a picture of the other 4 of them lined up on the big day don't ya think?? What posts on the blog stays on the blog right?

I'll have to let you know which one of them rips some SIX FOOTERS!! It will probably be my 4 year old, knowing her!

I do have to say though, that there is absolutely no pain involved in a colonoscopy. I think what keeps most people from getting them, is probably the embarrassement of it. If you are modest like I am, then that is probably the worst part. But hey, we need to remember that colon cancer is a silent killer and you don't know you have it until you have symptoms and then it is often too late. Please encourage your parents to get them and if you have any symptoms (bleeding being the most common) please get one. I think all of us would agree that a little embarrassement is worth something that can save your life!